"Hi, you've reached Chris Redfield's private phone line. Leave your name and number after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you're trying to contact me about the BSAA, please call my extension in the North American division.

Thanks!"

voice/text/video/electronic mail

Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on lately? First people were all upbeat and cheery without wanting to be, and now there's something going around that's causing amnesia or something?

I swear, whoever said life is stranger than fiction was not kidding. This is some high-quality weirdness going on here.

Worst day ever. Hands-down.

So! ...Wesker's not dead. Neither is Birkin. And Rebecca's convinced he won and we're all dying horribly. I'd think that Suzuki was coordinating a massive prank, but I have this gut feeling that isn't the case. So I've gotta assume that Wesker is alive. In which case, that needs to be fixed.

With a 50-megaton warhead, if possible.

Two RPGs to the face and a dip in an active volcano didn't fix it. I'm not doing this again without a nuclear arsenal.